Cheers, Darlin'
by brunetteandblond
Summary: Emily's drunk and missing a certain blonde. She's in love and hates it. Dark ONESHOT that happens to be based on the song, "Cheers, Darlin'" by Damien Rice.


_A/N: I do not own Criminal Minds nor the song, "Cheers, Darlin'" by the wonderful and crazy talented Damien Rice. This is my first songfic, I hope you enjoy it! :)_

* * *

 **Cheers, Darlin'**

 _"Cheers darlin'_

 _Here's to you and your lover boy_  
 _Cheers darlin'_  
 _I got years to wait around for you_  
 _Cheers darlin'_  
 _I've got your wedding bells in my ear_  
 _Cheers darlin'_  
 _You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away"_

* * *

 **Another shot**. And another. Anything to get the buzz in my head. Anything to distract… distract me from the blonde that keeps reappearing in my head. I shake my head as I drink another. What's **another shot** when everything's already gone to shit?

I bit my own tongue, reminding myself I'm still alive. Alive, but not exactly living. Because she's out there being happy, and her so-called happy life doesn't include me. She's With him. Loving him. Playing house with him. He's touching her in ways I've desired since I first saw her.

 **Another shot.** To drown the feelings that I once could control. I know I shouldn't have let this go as long as I did, but I tried to end it the moment she said, "I do." I couldn't help but imagine myself there with her instead of him. Holding her hand, kissing her mouth, dancing, drifting in the night touching— **Another shot**.

* * *

 _"And I die when you mention his name_  
 _And I lied, I should have kissed you_  
 _When we were running in the rain"_

* * *

I can't get it out of my head. Seeing her in his arms. Seeing him touch her. Another. It doesn't even burn anymore.

All the regrets were playing over and over. Replaying in a way that was taunting. I was haunted by all the moments I could have changed things. I was haunted by the 'almosts' and the 'maybes.' I should have kissed her that day. And the day after that. And the day after-

 **Another shot.**

* * *

 _"What am I darlin'?_  
 _A whisper in your ear?_  
 _A piece of your cake?_  
 _What am I,_ darlin _?_  
 _The boy {girl} you can fear?_  
 _Or your biggest mistake?"_

* * *

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to calm myself down. I couldn't concentrate. All I heard was her voice. **Another shot.**

I wanted her to see me like I looked now. I wanted her to see how damaged I was without her. I wanted to know if I made her feel the same. I wanted to know if she felt just as empty as I did when I wasn't with her.

Could she love me the way I love her? Or would that have ruined her? I tend to do that. Ruin things. And **another shot.**

* * *

 _"Cheers darlin'_  
 _Here's to you and your lover man_  
 _Cheers darlin'_  
 _I just hang around and eat from a can_  
 _Cheers darlin'_  
 _I got a ribbon of green on my guitar_  
 _Cheers darlin'_  
 _I got a beauty queen_  
 _To sit not very far from me"_

* * *

Everything was upside down, and I felt disgusting. Here, drinking in my own sorrow. While she's wi- **another shot**.

And then I saw someone who I thought looked like her. I don't know why she was smiling at me, but she was. I smiled back, only because she reminded me of- **another shot**.

* * *

 _"I die when he comes around_  
 _To take you home_  
 _I'm too shy_  
 _I should have kissed you when we were alone"_

* * *

I looked away, not wanting any more reminders of the girl I really wanted near. But she left today with him. And never looked back to see me watching her go. I blamed her for ending our non-existing relationship. When I know it was me all along. **Another shot**.

* * *

 _"What am I darlin'?_  
 _A whisper in your ear?_  
 _A piece of your cake?_  
 _What am I, darlin?_  
 _The boy {girl} you can fear?_  
 _Or your biggest mistake?"_

* * *

The girl came over and sat on the stool beside me. She raised her eyebrows mischievously, and I couldn't help but laugh. She didn't know who I was. I'm glad, I'd know we'd never last. She took another shot with me, trying to prove her worth. But she never had to- her blonde hair was enough for me.

 _Oh what am I? What am I darlin'?_  
 _I got years to wait…_

I took a cab with the girl to her apartment. I slept with her. Only I pretended she was someone else. I pretended she was a different blonde. My blonde. My _JJ_.

I'd wait forever if I'd have to- to be with the real one.

* * *

 _I know it was a bit of a bummer, but I love this song and the fic I wrote along with it! Thanks for reading, all! Reviews are welcome and appreciated! XX_


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